JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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