this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
