i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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