scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
