For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
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The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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