That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize