Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize