once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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