you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
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The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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