consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
