Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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