Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
