Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
