Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
