Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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