I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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