he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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