In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think I sprained my soul last night
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
