Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
