i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
