Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the day after is always just damage control
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
