They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
