what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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