There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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