we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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