If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
