would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
In other news, I just burned my penis
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
