is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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