Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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