Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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