Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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