just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
