How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
