i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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