I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My room smells like vodka and shame
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
