I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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