Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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