We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
