She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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