Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
