I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
