I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
