So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We don't watch enough power rangers
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
