I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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