Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
