Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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