I look better un-naked...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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