Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
