was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
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We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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