One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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