i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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