There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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