You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
