I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
