UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
