Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
