girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
worst night to have a conscience
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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