Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize