We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
