question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
