last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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