I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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