When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
